H-U-M-I-L-I-T-Y…

Last night was my first night working the new position… and my first time wearing a hair net…

And my first time seeing one of the guys I graduated high school with in ten years.

Yeah.

Fabulous.



Let me back up a few steps.

In high school, there was a guy that no one liked. He thought he was a total genius and felt we were all beneath him.

Sadly, he was a total genius and we were probably all beneath him.

I didn’t particularly get along with him because I don’t bond well with jerks… oh and he took great pride in being mean to my brothers. If there’s one thing you just don’t do to our family, its mess with one of us. It ticks off the other six siblings.

The guy and I fought like cats and dogs in high school and when we graduated I just knew I was going to do something with my life and he, with his crappy attitude, would fail.

I heard over the years that he got married, popped out a few kidlets, and was very successful in the field of physics and sciences.

Crap.

Needless to say, I had no desire – especially in light of my current situation – to see the guy. But of course, with my recent luck, the guy came to the ‘Big Box’ store last night.

Nothing says ‘I’ve gone places since high school’ like a hair net and a “Would you like sauerkraut with your hot dog?”


Sooo… I did a very mature thing - I smiled and wished him well in his future endeavors.

Right.

And I’ve got a dark tan and skin void of freckles.


So what really happened?

I pulled my hat down, flipped over my name tag, and went on a bathroom break.



I’m all about being humble and recognizing the value in working to pay bills but geez…

I’ve got standards.

Just when you think no one is looking…

Someone is.

The ‘Big Box’ store has decided to cut hours and lay off most of the temporary/seasonal employees. Since I’m a newbie/temporary/seasonal employee, my number was up first

Just what I need right?


BUT…


Someone noticed my work ethic.

That ‘someone’ was a store manager. In an effort to save me from a layoff, she transferred me to another department and rather than cut my hours… she gave me a full time plus overtime 6 day shift.


I guess mom and dad were right when they said… Work like someone is always watching.


Well… it was either my work ethic or… maybe the manager was tired of me drawing crowds at the cart corral?

It’s a total bummer because I just mastered my running/cartwheel/back flip routine.

Take that Mary Lou Retton.



They are transferring me to foods. So… uh… if you find a hair in your bread…

It TOTALLY wasn’t me.

…Even if it’s red… and even if I’m the only redhead in the whole department….

It still wasn’t me.



Oh, and I have an interview with the transit peeps on Monday. I was excited… until they told me how many applications they received and how many people they are interviewing. Let’s just say…

My odds aren’t good…

Unless of course…

They’ve seen my cart routine. If so, the job is in the bag.

Is it getting hot?

Theoretically, I’m not a huge fan of my job at the ‘Big Box’ store.

I won’t go into the details – lest I look completely ungrateful for a paying job.

But let’s just say, in theory of course, that it’s not exactly my favorite job ever.

Anyway, they asked for volunteers to work six day work weeks over the next two months for the holiday rush.

A silence fell in the break room.



No one volunteered.


So…


I did.



It’s as if I just complained to the devil that hell wasn’t hot enough and asked him to turn up the flames.

I know! It’s been a while…

But I’ve been working two jobs and job hunting at the same time. Plus I’ve been working on something writing related… I hope to be able to share the news but as per my rule, I’ll share only if the news is good.

Fingers crossed.

Anyway…

The Monday interview went as well as it could despite the circumstances. What are the circumstances?

Um…

They offered me a job 5 months ago and I turned them down.

That tends to leave a lasting impression… and not a good one.


I did learn a few things:

1 – I don’t turn into a tomato anymore.
Kind of a bummer. That was my ‘thing’.

2 – I still sweat.
Ugh. That’s nasty. I’d rather that NOT be my ‘thing’.

3 – I should probably have avoided using the words… ‘I’m obsessed with your company’
What?
It’s true. I love them. I just… maybe shouldn’t have told them how much.


I had another interview Friday… but I’ll have to talk about that later. I’m still a little hot under the collar about it.



We’re still paying bills timely so of course…

I’m smiling today.

Say a little...

Prayer for me.



I've got an interview today.



Those pants I shrunk... fit like a dream today.


Thank you cardio cart workout.

A brand new scale…

Chris is still working his day job and has worked for a few friends on the weekends and I’m getting some money from Big Box Store and my ‘modeling’ gig. We’re still able to clear our bills but money for non necessities like… food… is still tough to come by.

I bought a half dozen eggs for a few dinner recipes – ramen and rice inspired of course – and tried to save a few precious eggs for a little life luxury… chocolate cake.

I excitedly pulled down the dusty box of cake mix, ripped open the bag, and reviewed the recipe.

Oil - ½ cup. Check.

Water - 1 cup. Check.

Eggs - three. Che…

I opened the egg carton to discover only two eggs left. Someone had eaten my eggs. Based on my crummy week, I nearly folded into tears.

I stared at the mix in the bowl and decided…

Hold on. Before I tell you my decision, let me explain. I believe there is a scale.

Not Ghetto ----------------------------------------------------------------Ghetto


I have NEVER been on the ghetto side but…

Now I’m camping there.


I decided to take out a third of the cake mix, a third of the water, a third of the oil, plop in the two eggs…

And eat the remaining dry cake mix with a spoon while my ghetto cake was cooking.



The cake was ghetto fabulous by the way.

Jumping in with both feet…

I’ve been working a lot for the big box store and I have the scars to prove it. My hands look like they’ve been through a meat grinder and my arms are sporting some super cool bruises.

Nope. I’m not looking for sympathy.

I love battle scars. They make me look rough and tough… in my pink work shirt.

I’m doing well at my job. I’m pushing to be the best employee Big Box Store has. Because of my quality work, I’ve been given the following recognitions:

1 – I am the fastest cart corraler.

Truth: Because of my small size, I don’t have the weight ratio needed to push 10 shopping carts. I have to get a running start to build momentum and slam myself into the cart stack to get it moving. In order to keep it moving… I have to keep running. In order to get the stack to turn into the corral, I have to sprint.

Yes, I look as ridiculous as it sounds.

I had a couple customers cheer, applaud, and laugh at my efforts.

And no, I haven’t needed to stop the stack yet. Most people move when they seen carts rushing toward them at 25 miles an hour. And… I’m not sure I’m capable of stopping anyway.


2 – I am the fastest refrigerator and freezer organizer.

Truth: Take me from pushing carts in the hot sun, throw me in the freezer, and yeah… I’m going to set records.

And yes, sweaty shirts can freeze to your back.


I’m going to cancel my gym membership.

8 hours a day of cardio cart pushing and shivering is plenty for me.

But hey, maybe now I can fit into those pants I shrunk.




On the day job front – I’m suddenly miss popularity.

OK, so maybe three calls for interviews in 24 hours isn’t exactly mind blowing, but I’m happy someone thinks I’m worth a second look.

I’ll make sure to add my new skills to my resume:

1 – Cart corraler
2 – Freezer Organizer

And

3 – I’ve obtained… ‘Street Cred’.

I’ve got Big Box gang scars homies.