Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Guatemalan...

I didn't get a Guatemalan nanny like I had hoped. My sister took the job as caretaker to my two little ones.

It seemed like a good idea.


The problem? There's nothing as good as reliable family watching your kids.  Especially when they both love and adore her.  BUT, now all I worry about is her quitting - leaving to work another job to make the money she deserves rather than the limited funds I can afford to pay her.

She took the boys to the zoo last week and said she needed to leave at 11:30.  "Why?" I asked.

"I need to prepare the boys for nap time at noon.  We can only do trips out of the house between 9AM and 11AM.  I have them on a schedule."

The only schedule I could manage was a nap sometime between 9 am and 4 pm.

On weekends, at precisely noon, both boys fall asleep wherever they are.  It's like a little timer goes off in their brains and out they go.  Even when she's not here, it's easier since they run like a well oiled ship...or however the saying goes.

I tried to tell her where the ‘timeout’ corner was.  “I don’t need a timeout corner” she said. At first I was flattered, thinking my boys must be magically well behaved while I’m not home, then she finished, “Because I can put the fear of God into them with one look."

Cash was throwing a ball in the house and she said, "Stop" and shot the look.  He dropped the ball and walked away.

Must. Master. That. Look.

In my world, I have to say stop 47 times, beg, plead, resort to time outs, then finally just ignore the fact that he's still throwing the ball.

Let's not even talk about the fact that Declan slept through the night on his first try and has never woken up during the night since.  I think she sprinkles fairy dust in his room.

Sooooo.  Like I said.  It's not so great.  It’s like dating a really hot guy when you are 40 pounds overweight with acne scars and frizzy hair.  You enjoy the relationship but you’re always worried he’ll leave you for Kate Upton.

So do me a favor.  Don’t tell my sister how awesome she is.  I don’t want her to know.