I am now consumed with 'prepping' myself for an accident. I go to the bathroom before I leave. I wear comfortable shoes.
And then I realized...
I must reduce my reliance on Spanx.
I can just imagine my embarrassment, "Mam, first off, you're OK. You've been involved in an auto accident, but it took three paramedics and a pair of industrial clippers to remove these odd flesh colored shorts."
I put on my skirt suit this morning, turned around in the mirror...
and decided a good looking butt is worth a little embarrassment in the event of a collision.
And I've decided, in an accident, my Spanx could double as a tourniquet. Headlines... "Woman saved by body shaper. Femoral artery severed but accident victim remained alive for 10 hours before help could arrive thanks to shape-wear 4 sizes too small. Doctors remain uncertain how woman squeezed into them in the first place."
I mean, sure, I could work out. I could also be a movie star. I could be the next president. I could catch a ride to Mars. I could....
3 comments:
Women suffer in the name of fashion, it's what we do...
Randy says spanx might totally save your life....okay, I didn't really ask him, but I bet he'd say it would ;-)!
So..... where do I get this Spanx thing? It sounds totally awesome! Or is this just another name for girdle? I use to wear those things! I guess it's true... things do really come back in fashion... just under different and spiffier names. Woe... never thought I'd see the day.
Love you, mom
P.S. I think I actually kept a couple of those girdles.. in fact.. I have one made for those who are pregnant. Ah.. the things we endure for 'beauty"?
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