Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Thanks a lot baby…

The last few mornings it’s been a little chilly (I’ll ignore the snickers from my family back east). I’m back down to my pre-pregnancy weight but my ‘re-organized’ body can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy pants quite right so I wear dresses because I’m WAY too cheap to buy new pants. Since I work on the coast, I deal with the icy wind off the water in the mornings. I stare with envy at those wearing nice wool pants as they scurry into the building.

This morning, I darted into our building, shivering as I pressed the elevator button. A woman wearing thick slacks asked me why I dared to wear a skirt in this weather.

“Well, I had a baby and I can’t quite squeeze into my pre-pregnancy pants yet” I said with a smile.

“How long ago did you have your baby?” she asked.

Clearly this lady is childless or too many years have passed since she gave birth. The proper response should be, “Well you look great!” - even if the person doesn’t. I’m aware that my chest sits 3 inches lower, my hips are wider, and my chin is a double. Lying to women post-pregnancy doesn’t count. There’s an asterisk in my Bible on the 10 commandments near the ‘Thou shalt not lie’. It says *except to pregnant women or women who have given birth in the last year… well two (I may need to buy a little more time).

“8 Mo…er… weeks ago” I lied through gritted teeth.

I also believe that lying in response to stupid questions is perfectly acceptable as well.

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