Thursday, September 11, 2008

I’m starring in Mission Impossible 4!

So it hasn’t exactly been my week. I was busy all last week and halfway through this week preparing for meetings and presentations – more on that next time.

I kept thinking, ‘I just have to get through Wednesday, I just have to get through Wednesday.’

After Wednesday’s meeting, I breathed a significant sigh of relief… then I made the horrible mistake of checking my phone messages…

‘Hi Rebekah, it’s Michael, the claims adjuster on your homeowner policy, I have some bad news…

I’ve been negotiating with the young man who fell on the street in front of your home and have been unable to make any headway. His attorney has decided to file a legal action against you. Could you please give me a call immediately after you’ve been served with the court papers?’


For a brief history on ‘The Great Fall’ read here

I’m terrified at the thought of being served. I know my insurance guy said not to avoid service but I’ve been running to and from my car everywhere. Seriously, Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible has NOTHING on my running and ducking capabilities.

If you’ve ever been served with court papers before – uh, hate to admit this but… this isn’t my first time – you know it’s a really, really awful experience. Wait. That doesn’t sound good. But really… I was innocent!

Now I’m sounding like criminal. Maybe I’ll get a gang tattoo so I can survive a stint in the slammer.

Anyway, back to the service of court papers…

Here’s what happens:

The plaintiff’s lawyer hires an unemployed freak-show who’s desperate for money.

The freak-show camps in front of your house in his 1982 hatchback Hyundai, which of course, is solely held together by Bondo, duct tape, and 3 pieces of chewing gum.

When you arrive home after *gasp* actually working a real job, the freak-show runs up to you and screams ‘WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?!?’

When you don’t respond because *gasp again* you aren’t accustomed to people screaming at you, the freak-show throws the papers in your face (giving a deep paper cut to your cornea), takes photos of you, your car, and your home and runs away.

No. I’m not angry or prejudiced against process servers, why do you ask? ; )

I really hope the attorney decides to shell out the extra cash to use a police officer but I'm not holding my breath since I think I saw an ad for him in the Pennysaver advertising buy one get one free lawsuits. How sad that I’d rather have a person carrying a loaded firearm serve me than an shady unarmed guy driving a beater import.

I don’t want to work. I need a ‘mental health’ day.

I hate California.

I’m moving to Kansas...

or Sacramento.


Vanessa said...

Oh how crappy! *If* you have to get served, hopefully it will at least be by a decent police officer and not the freakshow.

Nicole said...

How bout' Idaho? I'll go with you! And I'd like to follow that up with a, "You don't mess with a Hays"!

sewcreative said...

Wow!! Does this wonderful person have a sister by the name of Monica??? It's amazing to me as to how many people make a living by suing people's insurance companies...... as you well know with our wonderful neighbor, Monica. I'm so sorry Becks. Are you also going to get turned into the FBI, the IRS, the county assessor, the code and firearms dept, department of planning and land use, etc., etc....... Now THAT is when it gets exciting.

Lizzie M. said...

You definitely need to move to Kansas. People don't sue for imaginary things here......

Anonymous said...

Yikes! You need to find a disguise. Pronto!