A vending machine guy caught me in the hall at work and said, "Sorry, I'm lost. I'm supposed to fill the machine and I can't find it."
"Sure, I'll walk you there" I said heading in that direction, "I'm bummed you guys took out the food machine and offer strictly soda now. But my waistline is happy. I've probably lost 10 pounds!"
"Almost there" he said smiling.
Almost there?!? ALMOST THERE?!?! Seriously? I make jokes about being fat but dear Lord, I'm not that bad! 'Almost there' to skinny? 'Almost there' to looking slightly less fat? You're no hunk of muscle dude. Why is it always OK for dudes to be fat but us chicks have to look like Heidi Klum?!? You aren't 'almost there'! Maybe I shouldn't help you find your dumb machine!!
Realizing I was having this argument completely in my head, I decided to address his narrow-minded idiocy.
I stopped walking suddenly, turned toward him, and said, "WHAT?!?"
"Almost there. I was so close to finding it on my own" he said looking at me confused, pointing at the machine.
"Oh. Um. Hm. Yup."
I'm such an idiot.