A spider the size of my head (admittedly, I exaggerate its size... a little) scurried across our bedroom floor and under our bed the other night. I yelled for Chris, who was in the shower, "Honey, would you please come out and vanquish this arachnid?" which, once again for the sake of honestly, sounded like, "AHHHHHH spider! AHHHHH! *unintelligible* *garble* AHHHHHH!"
Sure, I could have smashed it myself but I'm terrified of spiders - which seems to be synonymous with being female. Plus, I was too busy screaming from my perch atop my dresser.
Chris slowly finished washing his hair and using the loofah to scrub his feet and I heard the water shut off.
"Are you seriously squeegeeing the shower doors right now?!?!?" I yelled.
"As the person who installed these ridiculously heavy doors and is the person responsible to replace them if not properly maintained, yes. I'm squeegeeing the doors." He replied. SQUEEEAAAAAK.
"It could be a robber out here for all you know and he's had 7 minutes to beat me and loot the house" I yelled back.
"Meh. At least the shower doors would be OK." he said.
He finally came out of the bathroom and started to look under the bed. We don't have anything under our bed so it should have been fairly easy to spot the spider.
After a long pause he said, "Uh babe. I don't see a spider. You want to grab me a flashlight?"
I gave him a look. "There's no chance I'm getting off this dresser until you show me his lifeless body."
He left, found a flashlight, and returned. "Nope. Nothing."
"If he's not under the bed and no where around the edges...that means he's in the bed. I'm not sleeping in the bed tonight." I said.
"OK." he said as he crawled under the covers and turned off the lights.
I sat on top of the dresser for quite some time, debating whether or not to sleep on it. I finally caved but didn't sleep a wink the whole night. I made sure to hit Chris every 15 minutes under the guise of 'spider spotting'.
We still haven't found the spider... a fact I remember right before I close my eyes to sleep each night.