10 Facts about me...

I was tagged by Ashmystir to share 10 weird, random facts, habits, goals, what have ya, about me… so here they are.


1. I trained in kickboxing from an Olympic Trainer. I didn’t realize no one knew about my kickboxing until talking to our favorite Brewmaster at SeaWorld who is a boxer. I asked him if he bled between his knuckles like I did to which Casey responded… ‘You kickboxed?!?!’ then Beth followed it with, ‘Lets go to a dark alley. I wanna see you fight.’

2. I hate my hair. Always have, always will. When people say, ‘Your hair looks pretty!’ (It’s a rare compliment but it happens… when people forget their glasses or contacts) I refrain from saying, ‘It took me 6 hours to get it this way.’

3. My workout tunes haven’t changed since I was 18. Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, and Justin Timberlake still fill my iPod. When someone asks what I’m listening to, I lie and say Death Cab for a Cutie or Gun’s and Roses. I don’t listen to either but I’d die if anyone heard the 5th repeat of ‘Oops I did it again’ blaring from my earbuds.

4. I hate tip jars. Especially tip jars at fast food places where I go to the counter, order the food, fill up my soda, and pick up the bag when it’s ready. I don’t tip McDonald’s so I’m certainly not tipping the Berto’s Mexican Food shops or Starbucks for *gasp* doing their job. And yes Mz. Barista, I notice the look of disgust on your face when I put the change in my wallet instead of your ‘College Fund’. We all know it’s actually a beer fund.

5. God didn’t give me particularly great hair, slim hips, a stunning personality, or a tall stature but He did give me fantastic eyelashes. They are borderline freakish. The tips of my eyelashes hit my eyebrows and sometimes, I pull the mascara off the ends to make them look shorter.

6. My dream job would be travel writing. Combining my two favorite things – traveling and writing – would be heavenly but I can’t find anyone looking for an obnoxiously sarcastic, silly writer who struggles with motion sickness and is mortified of open water and strange places.

7. I wish I were a little more ethnic – that way I could have better descriptions of my physical characteristics. J.Lo’s butt is ‘Bootylicious’. Diana Ross’ hair is ‘natural’. But since I’m as white as they come, I’m just fat and frizzy.

8. I have my very own stalker. There is a girl who is interested in my brother and in her obsession, follows everything I write to check on him and his life. Even though I changed my BLOG address, she probably found this one. She’s very resourceful. Hi Jenn.

9. I read the all books on the New York Times Bestsellers list. No, I don’t read them because I want to, I read them because I want to appear ‘hip’ on the off chance that someone wants to know the plot line of ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns.’

10. I hallucinate when I’m tired. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I see things in our room. Examples: Horses, trees, couches, the Keebler Elves… I have to stop myself, focus, and say, ‘This isn’t real’. If someone broke into our house, chances are I’d stare at him, convince myself I was hallucinating, and go back to sleep while he pilfered through our drawers and stole all our cash – all 97 cents that is. Oh well, it would probably just be an angry Barista coming for his tip money or Jenn demanding to know where my brother is.

I'm tagging...

New mommy Lizard

and

Colegate

Show me some skin!...

I’m not a real open kind of gal when it comes to showing skin.

Sure I own low cut tops… but I wear them with tank tops underneath so I’m not sure that counts.

When I wear skirts, I throw on a pair of boy-shorts and a slip to ensure that in the event of a tragic windstorm, no one will see my underwear.

If I were a movie star, I wouldn’t be suffering from the same problems as Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears. Instead of reporters saying:

‘The young starlet was seen exiting her limo… without panties’

They would say:

‘The young starlet was seen exiting her limo wearing a pair of ‘nerds kiss the best’ boy shorts featuring a cartoon photo of a freckle faced redhead with braces underneath her slip underneath her knee length skirt – but only after a hurricane force gust of wind swept by... and the starlet looked mortified.’

I’m not entirely sure where I got it from. I don’t have a mother who wears nylons under her jeans or camisoles under her neck high button up shirts or who never owned a pair of shorts….

Oh wait. My mother was all those things.



You can imagine my panic in the gym locker room in the morning. Everyone is walking around naked and all I want to scream is, ‘Look peeps, I didn’t go to public school. I DON’T shower in public!’

I would simply change in a bathroom stall but I’m a total germaphobe and can’t touch anything within a 6 foot radius of a public toilet.

I’m left to change with a towel wrapped around me and frankly… I’m not good at it and my methods tend to make people point and giggle. That could be because I stand in a back corner of lockers and shimmy my clothes on while constantly catching my towel.

Showering is over rated. I think I’m going to stop.




On a better note. We received our tax stimulus check yesterday.

Coincidence that Nordstrom is holding it’s half yearly sale at this time? I think not. I think God is trying to tell me something.

Plus, the Commander and Chief, Pres. Bush, told me to spend it. I wouldn’t disobey my grandma so why would I not listen to the guy who can have me arrested?

It’s my civic duty.

Rebekah Who?

I wasn’t a big talker in high school and there was another guy in my class who didn’t talk either. Naturally I became instantly smitten.

I was absolutely positive he liked me but I convinced myself that his shyness kept him from ever asking me out. It made me feel better.

We both graduated and moved on with our lives – I went away to college, he stayed in San Diego. Every few years I heard about him through the grapevine. I assumed he still thought, ‘I wonder what happened to Rebekah. She was a nice girl.’

Give me a break. I’m a girl. We all hope someone holds a candle for us – or at least remembers we existed.

I went to the gym last night and was on my way to the treadmill when I noticed a guy watching me. Since the gym is a total meat market, I ignored him, put on my headphones, and turned the volume all the way up. He stood up and squinted to stare at me while walking closer.

I kept thinking, Come on lame guy. Stop it.

He walked up to my treadmill, stuck his hand on it, and smiled.

‘This may seem like a really weird question…’ he began

Oh geez buddy, if this is the beginning to a lame pick up line, just keep walking

‘Do you have twin brothers?’

Oh.

‘Wait…oh my goodness. Hi quiet boy from high school!’

Of course I didn’t say, ‘Quiet boy from high school’ but I’m keeping his name private… to save my dignity.

We talked for a while and he asked how John-E and Mike were doing then said,‘I don’t really think about anyone from high school anymore. But every few years I think about…’

Me! He’s going to say he thinks about me. Aww. How sweet!

‘… your brothers. They were such cool guys.’

Gee thanks. How flattering.

‘Wait, here.’ He pulls out a paper and writes his number on it.

Sorry dude, you’re five years too late. I got married. Didn’t you hear through the grapevine? It’s totally OK to be sad about it.

‘Could you give my number to John and Mike? I’d love to get in touch with them’ and smiled.

This guy has no clue that I’m pretty much married for the long haul so hanging out with my brothers until I’m single again just isn’t going to work.

I take his number and he starts to walk away but turns around and says, ‘I’m so sorry but… what’s your name again?’

So much for a candle.

I just checked 'Vanity' off my list of vices.

It's no longer a problem.

Funny thing happened on my way home from the gym…

After work yesterday, I changed into my workout clothes (and yes, I do have some – I’m kinda like the person who doesn’t cook but owns all the gadgets. I’ve got some cute workout gear) and went to visit my local 24 Hour Fitness.

I walked, yes walked, on the treadmill for an hour and worked up quite a sweat. I started to take those super deep breaths because it felt like there just wasn’t enough oxygen in the air. I would have said the person next to me was sucking up all the oxygen but there wasn’t anyone within three treadmills distance.

Perhaps that’s because I was sweating like a running cow on a 100 degree day and no one wanted to risk getting ‘splashed’.

Eww.

I gross myself out.


You think smokers wheeze? They’ve got nothing on me. I get winded turning on the TV…

with the remote.


But realistically, I can’t expect much endurance since my staple diet is cheesy potatoes and double decker tacos from Taco Bell topped off with frozen Ding Dongs. And, I gave up my very respectable – but very expensive and unaffordable at this time – passion for wine and traded it for Bud Extra *cough* err, I mean, ‘Mexican Soda’ which contains twice the daily recommended caloric intake.

Dang those Mexican Sodas.



I left the gym after an hour and drove to Costco to find something to make for dinner. Unfortunately I’m limited to things that can be prepared in 10 minutes or less so I can have it ready for the nights Chris has to be at school. I grabbed 3 frozen pizzas, a pre-cooked tri-tip, and a pre-cooked package of carnitas. As I was standing in line, I noticed the teacher who taught me Culinary skills last semester standing two people in front of me. I looked at his choices on the checkout: fresh chicken and vegetables, potatoes, and berries. I looked down at my glorified preserved fast food and immediately wondered…

Can he change my grade from last semester? Because, by all appearances, I’ve learned nothing.


Fearing that I may receive my first ‘B’ grade in 6 years, I ducked behind the lady standing in front of me, which may have worked had she not been only slightly taller than one of Santa’s elves. I was kinda upset that at my ankle biting height of 5’ 4” – shorter than 85% of the population – I had to get behind the one person in Costco shorter than I am.

Fortunately, the instructor is… how can I say this without sounding mean… he’s totally full of himself. And even more fortunate, he didn’t notice the stinky, sweaty girl in yoga pants pretending to tie her shoes for the 9 ½ minutes it took for him to leave.

My reputation is saved.

Survey...

Colegate sent me this survey via e-mail. Here are my responses...

( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school – A class or two in college
( ) Watched someone die – Eww. Morbid. No thanks.
( ) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico – Only by force
( ) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost – Typically in the back corner of Costco.
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington , DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep – Mainly because they stopped making my favorite lipstick. I HATE YOU RIMMEL!!
(X) Played cops and robber – Or cops and ‘borrowers’.
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang Karaoke-at home
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only? – Hello, how else do you pay for Taco Bell?
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X) Made prank phone calls – Then they invented caller ID and ruined everything.
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose – Nothing comes out of my nose. I repeat, nothing.
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus – Mom thought it best to deny his existence from day one.
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about – That would require waking before the sun came up. No thanks.
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors - Does showering with the window cracked count? Because I want to be seen as somewhat daring.
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname? BJ, Beks, and other names I can’t share…
2 Mother's name? Mom
3. Favorite drink? ‘Mexican Soda’
4. Tattoo? Wait, is mom reading this? Because in that case… no.
5. Body Piercings: Several.
6. How much do you love your job? Is pops reading this? Because if so… love it.
7. Birthplace? So. Cal.
8. Favorite vacation spot? Napa.
9. Ever been to Africa ? I’ve seen it on TV so that counts.
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Heck, I’ve had them for breakfast.
11. Ever been on TV? Yes. ‘Wildest Police Chases’
12. Ever steal any traffic sign?? Is the government reading this? If so… no.
13. Ever been in a car accident? Genius here rear-ended a Rolls Royce.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?? Yes?
15. Favorite salad dressing?? Ranch made with gobs of mayonnaise.
16. Favorite pie?? I’m not a real big pie fan.
17. Favorite number? People have favorite numbers?
18. Favorite movie? Rebecca by Alfred Hitchcock.
19. Favorite holiday? Respect for the Aged Day
20. Favorite dessert? Any/All – And none of the sugar/fat free crap either!
21. Favorite food? Anything with lard made by the loving hands at Hilberto’s.
23. Favorite brand of bodywash? Whichever one I have a coupon for.
24. Favorite toothpaste? See #23
25. Favorite smell? Clorox Bleach
26. Favorite place to relax? Everywhere
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Ravishingly good looking after my plastic surgery and botox injections.
29. Furthest place you will send this message? Malaysia

Happy Birthday Ryder!!!

Happy Birthday Ryder!! Ok, Ok, Ok, so I need to get more updated photos... but I didn't want to steal your moms and have her sue me for copyright infringement.

I miss you bud! I hope to see you this summer!

Have a wonderful birthday!!

Lots of love,

Auntie Bekah and Uncle Chris

What a fabulous weekend…

Friday night Chris and I went Downtown to try out a new Irish pub called the Stout Public House. I read a lot of reviews that praised the place but… I had some ‘issues’

I walked in and noticed quite a few eyes staring at me. I couldn’t help but think, ‘Am I over dressed in my button up black shirt and jeans?’ ‘Do I have something on my face?’ Then I realized it wasn’t my appearance… it was my gender.

There were four females in the place… that number included me and the two female waitresses.

To all my single lady friends… I’ve got a place for you!

I walked to the restroom and received a slew of cat calls. So of course…

I went to the bathroom at least 6 more times before we left.


I wasn’t pleased with the menu. If you only have four ‘Irish’ items on your menu, you aren’t an Irish pub. If you worsen the situation by blending Mexican, Japanese, French, American, and Irish food on the same menu, you should be called by what you really are, Denny’s.

Cancel that.

I like Denny’s.




Saturday morning Chris and I went to the… wait for it…

GYM.

It was pretty sad to walk in and get stuck behind the turnstile with a fingerprint scanner. When I stared at it totally confused, the gym lady behind the counter asked me if I was new.

‘Well, I’ve been a member since 1997 but…I haven’t been in a while.’

‘Over 5 months? That’s how long we’ve had these finger scanners.’

‘Um. More like… 19 months… as a ‘guestimate’. But I’ve been super busy over the last…Um, nearly two years… I had a baby and I broke my leg… legs actually… both… and I couldn’t workout without my legs… oh and the baby too… and my kid has, like, jaundice or something so I couldn’t bring it, I mean, ‘her’ to your babysitting because… uh.. jaundice is, like, contagious so… yeah. Otherwise I would have totally worked out.’ I said as I nodded a little too enthusiastically.

I guess I could have just been honest but I didn’t want her to know I was/am lazy and realistically would much rather be watching Judge Judy than firming my Kim Kardashian sized butt.

She took my gym card and typed in my information then said, ‘You haven’t paid your dues in 6 months. You’d know that if you actually used the card once in a while. How would you like to pay for the back charges? Cash? Credit?’

‘Oh. Oops.’

So, that 33.5 minutes I spent on the treadmill - before I nearly passed out from exhaustion because I was walking almost fast at the breakneck speed of 2.0 - cost me $100.

And yes, 14.75 of those minutes were spent just trying to turn the darn thing on.

I burned at least 20 calories. I’m totally impressed with myself.



Saturday afternoon we celebrated Keira’s first birthday. We had a fabulous time running around the park and watching little miss enjoy her first cake. Congrats to Keira!

Happy Mother’s Day

OK… so I’m a little late but I had a busy day and my cell phone ran out of juice and Target was low on the Ding Dong supply and…

I just wanted to wish the lovely mom’s in my life a Happy Day. As much as I hate being serious, some days just call for a little bit of… ugh… love.

Grams J: Though not technically MY mom, you are a super cool mom to my mom. We love you tons!

Grams H: I don’t think I ever see you without a book or a newspaper in your hands… now I know where I get that from! I miss you!

Colegate: You have three of the craziest boys… but they are one day going to be some super manly men who open doors for the ladies. Tallon will be opening a lot of doors if you know what I mean. Thank you for making them hug me goodbye. At least I know someone is forced to love me.

Stef: Not only are you always doing something fun and creative for the girls, you document it through pictures and share them with us. I can’t be with you guys but I feel like I see them growing up from where I am. Thank you for sharing them with us. You have some lucky lucky girls.

Lizard: OK, so I’m not there when the kids are crazy so I may be a little one sided but you have such tender kidlets. There is a sweetness about them that makes me miss them so much. Maybe it’s because you are Switzerland and never fight. I hope not. Because if that’s true Cole and I are screwed.

Lindsey: The newest in the mommydom. Motherhood suits you well. Thank you for putting up with me as a sister in law and coming around to share little miss Keira. She is going to be a bright kid… I mean really, she can meow. That’s huge.


And last but not least…

Mom: Thank you for being a shining example as to what real moms should be. Liz, Cole, Paula, and I all have something to live up to… well… maybe in like 20 or so years for me. Thank you for the hugs… the sacrifice… the yelling… and the spankings. They made me into the perfect person I am today.

Please don’t hit me for that mom.

I was joking.

OW!

Well, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

Happy Birthday Miss T

Have a wonderful, fabulous, fantastic, awesome, super cool birthday!

We love and miss you!!

Lots of love, Auntie Bekah and Uncle Chris

Rebekah who!?!?

I got a phone call today. A phone call from the college I interviewed at yesterday. Considering the call came so quickly on the heels of my interview I naturally assumed they were calling to say, ‘Sorry, you are an idiot.’

But instead...

‘Hello, I’m calling to inform you that you are one of our top candidates for the position you interviewed for! You are now progressing to round two of our process and we will be checking your references. If your references pass, we will be calling you for another interview. Congratulations!’ The lady said warmly.

‘I understand, I didn’t get the job. Thank you for your time… wait… what’d you say? I mean… uh… of course I’m the top candidate, thank you.’ I stumble and hang up before something else stupid comes out of my mouth.

OK. So I have three options here.

1.) I was the only person who applied for the position and it was between me and the Dean’s 10 year old son – a close race but he turned it down because of conflicts with soccer practice.

2.) They called the wrong Rebekah.

Or

3.) The committee was so entertained by my tomato impression they would like an encore performance.



I guess I should have been more discerning in my choice of references. Perhaps:

My nice mail lady
The liquor store owner
&
The guy who makes killer tacos at Cotijas

Weren’t the best choices for references.




Regardless, I feel like Sally Fields right now.

‘You like me, you really really like me.’



Which makes me think of James the Bames. He does a killer Sally Fields impression.

Can’t. Stop. Snickering.

Duuuuude. You really should have gone into voiceovers.