Dog for sale.

Every morning I go through the same routine. I wake up (begrudgingly), take my shower (well… sometimes), get ready (to some degree – it depends on how tired I am), take Turk outside, feed Thorny, and leave for work.

It’s a simple routine… that is suddenly complicated by my dog.

Turk doesn’t like to go outside. If he had to pee in a litter box just to stay inside, he would. My roommate has taken to calling him ‘Pierre the French Dog’ because he feels my dog is a snotty, stuck up, overgrown lab rat who accepts only the very best table scraps and walks away from the rest - OK, maybe Turk is French.

Turk has recently decided to make my life difficult and hide every time I take a shower. When I go to put him outside, I have to search everywhere to find him. Under the couch, behind the couch, under the bed, under my shoes, in the back of his kennel… and to complicate things, he never hides in the same place twice.

I can imagine him frantically searching like a 3rd grader looking for the ultimate spot for his hide and go seek game. Considering the fact that he’s the size of my foot, there are plenty of places for him to hide. When I eventually do find him, he prances around the house like a show horse pulling his knees up to his chest. I can’t tell if he’s saying, ‘Ha ha, got you again’ or ‘OK, that was fun but I have to pee now’.

I guess I could kick this habit by telling him he is a very bad dog for hiding but I end up laughing so hard at his hiding spots that he thinks he’s doing something good.

This morning I could find him anywhere. After 10 minutes of searching I was about ready to give in until I noticed my neatly made bed wasn’t so neat anymore. Considering he’s not allowed to sleep on the bed, he definitely found the last spot I would look.

Turk, here’s a hint – just because you can’t see me, it doesn’t mean I can’t see you.

He eventually did come out... when I grabbed him. I swear he's laughing at me.