I had my first interview in 7 years yesterday so it should come as no surprise that I have absolutely no interview skills.
Rather than give the impression that I am a mature, confident young woman, I came off more like a challenged 5 year old.
When he asked me to tell him a little about myself I SHOULD have said, ‘I’m hard working, I love a challenge, I am a team player, and I believe that everyone should be treated with kindness.’
Instead, I think I said……..
‘I love the color purple and red, I love bright shiny objects, I love butterflies in the summer, I love birthday cake, and I want world peace.’
I might as well have brought in some Barbie dolls and asked him to play.
No fear, it gets worse.
In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Violet turns into a blueberry. Her lips turn blue, her body turns blue, her fingers turn blue… you get it.
When I get nervous, I flush red. If I actually had a tan, you wouldn’t notice but remember one thing…
The Clinique makeup counter turned me away because they didn’t have a shade white enough for my skin.
Flushing red is PAINFULLY obvious on my pale skin.
Violet turns into a blueberry and I turn into a tomato. Maybe I’ll join a circus.
‘Laaaaadies and Gentleman, please welcome to the stage – THE HUMAN TOMATOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!’
Think it can’t get worse? Just wait…
I’m talking about the town I grew up in and he tells me he knows a guy from there.
‘Mr. So and So? I know him! He’s a really nice guy!’ I say, thinking we’d found some common ground.
‘Mr. So and So sued me.’ He said.
‘Oh.’ I say quietly. ‘Uhhh….’