Friday, April 11, 2008

Huh? I just don't…get it...

I had my first interview in 7 years yesterday so it should come as no surprise that I have absolutely no interview skills.

Rather than give the impression that I am a mature, confident young woman, I came off more like a challenged 5 year old.

When he asked me to tell him a little about myself I SHOULD have said, ‘I’m hard working, I love a challenge, I am a team player, and I believe that everyone should be treated with kindness.’

Instead, I think I said……..

‘I love the color purple and red, I love bright shiny objects, I love butterflies in the summer, I love birthday cake, and I want world peace.’

I might as well have brought in some Barbie dolls and asked him to play.

No fear, it gets worse.

In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Violet turns into a blueberry. Her lips turn blue, her body turns blue, her fingers turn blue… you get it.

When I get nervous, I flush red. If I actually had a tan, you wouldn’t notice but remember one thing…

The Clinique makeup counter turned me away because they didn’t have a shade white enough for my skin.

Flushing red is PAINFULLY obvious on my pale skin.

Violet turns into a blueberry and I turn into a tomato. Maybe I’ll join a circus.

‘Laaaaadies and Gentleman, please welcome to the stage – THE HUMAN TOMATOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!’

Think it can’t get worse? Just wait…

I’m talking about the town I grew up in and he tells me he knows a guy from there.

‘Mr. So and So? I know him! He’s a really nice guy!’ I say, thinking we’d found some common ground.

‘Mr. So and So sued me.’ He said.

‘Oh.’ I say quietly. ‘Uhhh….’



Nicole said...

Well, it was good practice anyway......on what not to say!

Ashmystir said...

With the odds of that should have gone Las Vegas!That is unreal! Don't know what to say except...i have some mexican colas if you need one.


Cracked up over the tomato bit.

Lisa C Magnus said...

You didn't want that job anyway. The perfect job is out there for you. Maybe you should check out the Kansas City paper? :) LOve you all.