I went to the mall last night for a little retail therapy – not that I can afford it, but in reality, who can?
In the middle walkway of our mall, kiosks sell everything from cell phones to t-shirts. As I’m walking from store to store, inhaling the new clothing smell, a guy starts yelling at me, ‘Mam! Come try this lotion!’
‘No thanks’ I say with a smile and keep walking – yeah right, like I’m going to stop for a guy who calls me ‘Mam’.
‘Can I just ask you a question?’ He yelled – and the yelling wasn’t necessary since I was 8 feet away.
‘No thanks’ I say while continuing my stride.
‘It’s just ONE question!’ He yelled louder as people started to look – though I’m sure they were just thankful he wasn’t yelling at them.
Wanting so badly to yell back, ‘Look buddy, I’m not interested in you frickin’ lotiony crap. I don’t care about the anti-aging/anti-cellulite/anti-wrinkle/firming/magic garbage you’re selling! I have skinny arms and I can hide my fat butt under a skirt so I don’t need you! Would you just let a girl shop!?!?!’ but instead said a polite but simple, ‘No thanks.’
Come on, I should get a medal for my restraint.
‘JESUS!’ he screamed as he slammed down the lotion – and he wasn’t calling out the name to honor the Lord if you know what I mean.
I stopped dead in my tracks and started to turn toward him but decided against it.
I have an interview today and I’ve heard black eyes followed by stories that start with ‘look, it wasn’t my fault…’ aren’t exactly ‘job magnets’.
Lucky little lotion man.