Beth came over last night to bring our new roommate, Zach, a new 37” HDTV for his birthday.
My birthday is coming up next week so I was sure to say to Chris, ‘Wow hon, isn’t that nice of Beth to give Zach such an expensive gift? And they are only dating… we’re married. Hmm. I wonder what you’ll get for me.’
OK, so I have no huge aspirations for expensive gifts… I’m just hoping he’ll forgive me for ordering a pricey pressure cooker off the Home Shopping Network while he was slaving away at work on Saturday. I should have ‘HSN Cooks’ permanently blocked from our cable box. If it steams, bakes, toasts, or is the daily special, I’m too tempted.
The cooker is supposed to be delivered today so I’m going to beat him home and write ‘Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Love, Auntie Edna’ on the box.
Nope. I don’t have an Auntie Edna but it’ll buy me time. Birthdays are Get Out of Jail Free days so I’ll pony up the truth then.
Perhaps I shouldn’t mention that we signed up for a marriage class that starts this Friday. I figured I’d do as much damage as possible before I am forced to be a proper wife.
Hey now! Don’t judge! It’s like eating a chocolate cake before dieting. Everyone does it.
Beth and I shared two bottles of wine after dinner. Well, I guess technically we didn’t share since we each had our own bottle.
ANYWAY, as I was downing my chilled Viognier, I read a fascinating article in my Fitness magazine (I subscribe to Fitness magazine and display it on our living room table so that when guests come over and see it, they think, ‘Oh poor dear, she’s desperately trying to lose that butt pudge but it must but genetic’ and not link it to the real culprits… Ding Dongs and laziness). I can’t find the online version but this is pretty much the same thing:
Beth and I both agreed… we’re not alcoholics… we’re fighting dementia.
We can just ignore that silly little reference to *drinking in moderation*.
OK, OK, truth be told, the bottles were half empty to start with (mom, you can delete that frantic letter to grandma)
But hey, I’m guessing this lady drank quite a bit of wine.