Perhaps yesterday wasn’t the best time for my first day back in school.
I came into work yesterday morning to discover my desk had been completely overrun by ants. I feigned utter confusion at their presence when asked by co-workers but… um... yeah… perhaps it’s because I eat two meals a day at my desk – plus snacks… and I snack a lot…despite what I tell my doctor.
The ants attacked my keyboard and continually popped up their heads when I typed. It was like I was playing a terrifically awful office version of Whack-A-Mole.
Needless to say, after 9 hours of dealing with a million of the 1/16” demons, I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods. THEN, I arrived on campus only to discover they had shut down the largest parking lot for ‘improvements’. Cars were swirling around looking for spaces like flies on a rotting carcass. What was previously a lot ribbed with open parking spaces was now a lot stuffed with maggots *cough* I mean cars (told you I was in a bad mood).
I circled for 15 minutes before I finally found a spot. It doesn’t seem long until you remember gas is 5 bucks a gallon and that 15 minutes translates to roughly $47.50.
I settled myself in class and sat in my usual chair furthest from the instructor. I failed to notice that this chair was also nearest to the classroom next door and a mere paper thin sheet of wood was the only thing that separated me from them. As soon as class began I realized I couldn’t hear my own instructor nearly as much as I could hear the lady loudly teaching French a few feet from my seat.
This wouldn’t be so bad if my concentration were more than that of an infant… and an infant monkey at that.
By the end of the semester I may not be any better at creative non-fiction writing but I will surely be able to give directions to the Louvre in perfect French.
The teacher had us complete info cards about ourselves and threatened to make us *cough* I mean, ‘asked’ us to share our info with the class. Unfortunately I learned I’ve picked up yet another nervous twitch in my public speaking abilities. When speaking in front of my peers – along with my already fabulous ability to turn bright red - my language patterns have started to closely resemble Yoda.
‘Rebekah. My name is.’
I think there are some Star Wars fans in the class because a few people seemed to actually understand what I was saying.
Going to be a great year this is.