Lies, Lies, All Lies…

I had to see my doctor today for my annual exam. I hate the fact that, as a woman, I have to see my doctor once a year while my husband, being a man, hasn’t seen a doctor in about 10 years.

Do we have more moving parts or something?

All this week, in preparation for my doctor’s usual litany of questions, I was very careful about my actions.


She usually asks if I’ve been exercising…

I worked out three days this week just so I could tell her yes… never mind the fact that I missed the last three weeks solid. Plus, I was hoping that divine intervention would make those three days lower my blood pressure and somehow lop off 10 pounds.

Eh. Not so much.

Alas, I’ve gained 3 pounds since last year.



Then she follows it with questions about alcohol…

I haven’t had any wine since last Saturday just so I could say, ‘It’s been a while’.



Then she ends with questions about my diet…

Sure I ate two been, cheese, and guacamole tostadas on Tuesday (I picked off the lettuce and tomato – eww) but I counted Thursday’s Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizza as ‘healthy’. Hmm.. Maybe that’s where those 3 new pounds came from.



Anyway… I’m sitting in my cute paper outfit – very well prepared for the verbal drill and then…

‘Boy it’s been hot lately. Our air conditioner broke and my kids are dying! Don’t you just hate this weather?’

‘Yes, I’ve been exercising… wait what?!?’


Yeah. That’s right.

Not one question.



And we had steak and potatoes last night. Chris pulled out an amazing bottle of V. Sattui Syrah with an incredible bouquet/aroma and I held back because nooooo, I had to see the doctor today.

Next time, I’m pouring a glass.

And I worked out?!?!?

And I ate a LEAN CUISINE?!?!?

What a waste.



Stupid doctors.